C1 Round 10 Results

WA Amateur Football Leagues Perth Football League
1

Thornlie and Kingsley have surprise wins and makes my comment, of that they will definitely be relegated look stupid. Please stick to status quo and lose.

Ocean Ridge (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 13.10 (88)
Coolbinia West Perth (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 11.9 (75)

Gosnells (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 7.7 (49)
Kingsway (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 16.12 (108)

Kingsley (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 19.6 (120)
Lynwood Ferndale (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 12.7 (79)

Melville (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 13.13 (91)
Wanneroo (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 18.13 (121)

Kelmscott (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 12.8 (80)
Thornlie (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 14.5 (89)

We start with the sad news of the passing of Tony Soprano. No news on whether the OZfooty poster was in fact the same person but his absence since the passing suggests so. RIP Soprano

I enjoyed a nice sleep in with the colts having a bye this weekend. Probably a good thing after witnessing there efforts at a nightclub on Saturday night. 22 shots on goal and they all missed the mark, leading them all to go home with there own hand on gland.

Always a pleasure to travel down to the Auskick Oval that is Melville Reserve. The reserves were awful, kicks missing targets and just overall terrible. Some players can hold there heads high. Some players copped an almighty spray on Saturday Night from Mr Mysterious on Saturday night aswell.

I ventured up to the canteen to see what the women, the hot chips and the beer was like. As Meatloaf said, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Women=stunning 11/10
Beer=cold and cheap 8/10
Hot Chips= Crinkle Cut and over cooked. Rob Broadfield would be livid with what I was served. 1/10
Sorry to the man who called out, hey Mr Mysterious and I ignored as I had 6 chips in my mouth. I should have mentioned in order to receive your free beer you must sing “Mr Mysterious” by Vanessa Amorosi.

Melville came out firing in the league game. Kicking 6 goals to 1 in the first quarter. Number 12 from Melville loved a goal. Getting very excited with his set shot conversion from 10 metres out. The second quarter was completely different. Wanneroo dominated piling on 7 goals to 1. Leading Melvilles league coach at Half time to deliver his troops a verbal bashing.

So Melville again came out firing and the supporters loved it, banging on the sponsors board on the grandstand. Number 12 again slotted the ball from 15 metres out this time and again celebrated like he had kicked the match winner. Melville (dare I say it…) RAMMED the ball through the big sticks a couple of more times and had the lead heading into the last quarter. But guess what happend.. Wanneroo came out and kicked some goals and ran over the top of Melville and ended up winning by 5 goals.
A total of 31 goals were kicked on Saturday and I’d say 25 of them were kicked towards the cricket nets end.
A good day had by all.
Also Melville your women are fantastic June 30 is in 6 days. If you can promise me women of that calibre floating around the club rooms ever Saturday night. Sign me up. Improve the hot chips situation though.

2

I have not passed away, but since hearing the news of James Gandolfini’s passing on Wednesday, I have been a wreck. Nothing a good honest 5 day bender couldnt fix as I greived and grieved. Thanks for the kind words though.

I enjoyed your write up…but 46 views and no replies…obviously you are not everyones cup of tea.

Kingsley showing that their close game against Wanneroo was not a fluke, well done to them. I am sure Bar120 copped it that night.

Wanneroo and Melville both played well in patches, but Melville just couldnt put Wanneroo away…and it cost them. Number 12 was great to watch, i have never seen anyone celebrate a 10m directly in front goal in the first quarter like that before. Well done to him, as i heard a very wise man say on the day “your first one is always the hardest”

What was your take on the game Panda? Were you present?

3

Was at the Wanneroo Melville game on the weekend and it would be interesting to find out from a Melville person if the “cricket net” end is always the scoring end compared to the other end of the ground as there was a shitload of goals scored at that end and bugger all at the other end.

4

Soprano lives on. I have had comments from many people saying they enjoy the writeups. I’m thinking of having an OZfooty party at the end of the season. All are welcome to attend. Prizes would be awarded. Well done to Kingsley, I wonder if they’ll be on the piss again…AGAIN!
Number 12 celebrations were good I used to do that in Under9’s before i realised carrying on like that 10 times a game was boring. However number 14 from Wanneroo took the cake with his effort in the last quarter. The triple fist pump.
I saw the Panda, but did the Panda see me…

5

Sorry for the tardy reply boys…Just had to go and get my wrists stitched up at Fremantle Hospital due to an attemepted suicide. Those two reviews were that f*#king boring i slit my wrists and footygoss/ozfooty almost lost its biggest entertainer!!! No wonder this site hasn’t had the fanfare of the once great Footygoss. Blokes like you two send the viewers to sleep with boring splurges about how Traper peice resembles a deep fried crinkle cut chip snapped in half or something of the like. Seriously boys, spice it up a bit otherwise the Peoples Panda is retiring his scribing licence.

Anyway, now that i have that off my chest, lets move onto Saturdays matchup. After 4 weeks of sinking tins and smoking cigarettes in the Pilbara, King Panda couldnt get on the track on Tuesday night due to an appointment with two young lasses who were eager to see my Orgasm Face. Although i didnt get to work on my Football skills, it still provided me with enough of a work out to blow the cobbies out so to speak. I trained Thursday night in front of a 2000 strong crowd mainly consisting of women in which yours truly rolled around at 100% DE for the night and if i do say so myself, looking a million bucks.

After a quiet night on Friday watching the scum get dismantled by a disinterested Hawthorn, the King of the bears called into his favourite barista for a double shot coffee on his way to Rams Stadium. Upon arrival it was pointed out to me that the Wanneroo boys had been camping out at the oval overnight. A bit strange but an obvious showing of their commitment to get the job done! Unfortunately, they werent aware of the beast they were to face…

The twos battle started with the Roos winning the toss and kicking with the slight 1-2 goal breeze in the first. Said breeze did nothing for Roo Roo Roo wanneroooooo roo roo roo wanneroo roo roo as the Rams put on a clinical display of twos footy to go into the first change a goal in front. The Panda had the ball on a string in the first quarter, having 13 disposals and 2 score assists off a HFF, even with the close checking of a defender that reminded me of a chook… with no head.
The second was one way traffic with the Rams piling on 7 or 8 snags including the goal of the Century from yours truly from 50m out and that close to the boundary that a policeman tried to fine me for J walking on Stock Road while i was celebrating. The Rams went into the long break with a commanding 8 goal lead but the crowd favourite received a corky in the hip late in the half which would restrict his elite running capacity and render him useless in the second half. After the break there was more of the same from the first half with the Rams doing as they pleased, including breaking down the short kicking in of the Wanneroo defenders from behinds and converting a number of 7 point plays. The reserves juganaught rolled on to a 10 or 11 goal win in what Ross Lyon would described as a solid 4 quarter effort in which the players brought great effort. The King Panda finished with 24 disposals at 96% DE 2 goals 1. Must of been a fun day for Number 8 who got the best seat in the house while he followed me around all day.
The beers were delicious and it was good to see a few of the Roo lads upstairs for a beer after such a shallacking. Thumbs up…Do pandas have thumbs?

The senior game was crazy as the boys above have stated. Lots of goals towards the Kitchener Street end and lots of points while kicking towards Stock Road. Fair to say the Rams threw away a prime opportunity to knock of the undefeated Roos with some relatively easy misses in the last quarter. The superior fitness of Wanneroo showed through in the last with a barnstorming finish. Unfortunately i didnt get to catch to much of the game as i was servicing the single Ramettes in the change rooms one by one. My final count was 11 lucky lass’ got to feel the girth of the Panda Piece…Only 7 off my daily record.

6 things we learnt from Saturday…

  1. Wanneroo definitely need to employ a hairdresser at the club. The mullet is well and truly out of fashion in 2013, please do something about this before the finals.

  2. If the Rams can get their sh!t together and make the 5 they will trouble a few teams in the finals

  3. There would have been some sore ladies on Sunday morning if my piece is anything to go by. Lucky im heading back up north for four weeks as i have no skin left on it.

  4. Wanneroo AFC should refund Number 8’s registration money for making him play on me for 3 quarters. No one should be subject to such humility when all he wants to do is play footy with his mates. He didnt get one possession on the weekend as he spent an hour and a half with his back to the play staring at me (good looking rooster i am).

  5. Wanneroo are the worst 10-0 side in the history of Amateur footy and wont win the GF.

  6. Number 14 effectively drew a target on his back with his comments to the female crowd members as he walked off the ground. Hopefully for his sake The Roos and The Rams dont square off again.

All in all it was a good days footy. Full credit to the Roo boys in the late game. They sustained the better footy for longer and reaped the rewards.

Thats it for another 4 weeks but rest assured the King of bears is in discussions with his employer to get the whole finals series off work. This means finals crowds will go through the roof, ill need a few pairs of boots as ill wear the leather of the top of them while racking up possessions at will, the nightclub scene will be like a chop shop for 4 weeks and as Warrick Capper was talking about on Open Mike, i will be offering a “stay with the stars” package for the 4 weeks im back in which you can pay $5000 to stay with a star…Me… And basically life the life of the Panda for a week? Get in early, the phone is ringing off the hook.

PANDA OUT

6

KingPanda I have missed your writeups. One day I hope I can achieve the great heights that you do. Luckily you work away as I’m sure a whole season like that would lead to leather poisoning. I too have suffered the ill fate of this disease and trust me its not pleasant. Hopefully up can play enough games to qualify for finals.

7

kingsway won all 3 grades at gosnells

Colts

Good game of footy with kingsway running out comfortable winners after the game was tight for most of the day. Moved kingsway to 2nd on the ladder with a game against the undefeated Kingsley coming up this weekend which should be a cracker!

Reserves

A ggod win to kingsway by 5 goals saw them swap places with gosnells on the ladder and these 2 could easily meet in a final later in the year

league

Outstanding win by kingsway after gosnells led at qtr time. Turning point in the game was 1/2 way through the 3rd quarter when gosnells number 8 decided that he was sick of getting to towelled up by kingsway number 18 and belted him right in from of the umpire who red carded him immediately. This set off all sorts of commotion as someone from the bar (possibly a relation) decided to come onto the field to see if number 8 needed a hand.a fortunately some smarter heads prevailed from gosnells and they were escorted from the field. Just when things seem to be getting back on track the said number 8 emerges from the change rooms without his jumper and then wanted to fight 1st the kingsway bench and then anyone associated with the club at all. By this stage a few of the gossies people decided enough was enough and he was again escorted away.

The whole incident seem to rattle the gosnells players and kingsway then kicked away to win by 9 goals in a pretty good standard game.

All in all a good day for kingsway which consolidated there spot in the top 5 in all 3 grades

8

Good to see number 8 from Gosnells in action again. He actually did something similar at Wanneroo a few weeks ago.

9

haha Gosnells are an absolute joke…bit like the Panda himself.

10

Haha the same bloke did an almost identical thing at Wanneroo a few weeks back. Why is he even playing footy when all he wants to do is take his shirt off and fight.

11

Not a totally accurate decription of what happened of Gonells Oval 18 and 8 wernt palying on eachother at anytime,number 8 had a earlier altercation with one of the other Kingsway Players,number 18 copped the wrath mistaken ID at it’s best,we dont condone those actions and the word is he’s decided to go play for Kelmscott now.

Heard there was a all in at Lynwood and the game got called off anyone confirm this?

12

Thanks for joining in Hawk4Life. Not sure about the game at Lynwood, I don’t think it was the league game that got called off. I would know if it did.

13

one of the guys i know from lynwood said it was called off before 3 quarter time. from what i understand lynwood got 5 redcards and didn’t come out after the break. of course this is second hand so i may be a little skewed on the details

14

H4L , a few players have left the club , is this the club asking them to leave or them choosing to leave?

Sounds like a few disappointing acts across a few games. Seems a little ridiculous that in C grade amatuer football or any sport for that matter, that the game can not be played for the enjoyment of all.

Here is hoping that clubs and players can get it right . Zero tolerance approach!

15

The players who have a left all come to club at the start of the season,These guys play footy for diffrent reasons to what the club is about.

16

No 8 for Gosnells is a tool and the competition does not need loose cannons of his like running around on and off the field. I think Wanneroo put in a formal complaint about him for an incident after the game had finished the other week when he threw a water bottle into the crowd and a 16yr old girl was hit in the head with it!!

17

I wonder if Kelmscott are aware of this blokes history?. Kelmscott play Kingsway in a few weeks time so will be interesting to see if this clown fronts up again!!

18

After considering the negative feedback about Heathridge Park on this forum, we are trying to win a patio to increase your viewing pleasure. We are asking everyone on here to get behind a fellow WAAFL club to help improve our facilities. Please access the link and vote for Ocean Ridge Amateur Football Club before Friday.

http://www.6ix.com.au/win/hot/510-swan-patios-1

Cheers.

19

Vicko,

One question before I vote…are Onion Ridge going to turn their oval around so that the Bar and Clubrooms are close to the middle of the ground and not the end of the ground?

20

Soprano, I’m not sure how long you’ve been around, but we used to have 2 grounds running north/south, the goals at the far end were only visible by telescope, so it’s better than it used to be.

I was actually looking at this on Saturday and I think there’s a chance. The current orientation was due to the oval being 185m long a few years ago, and going corner to corner was the only option. We have since slightly shortened the ground, and what I noticed on Saturday was that there is now about 15m behind each goal square, and that a clockwise rotation would be possible.

The new patio wouldn’t be on centre wing but the Ocean Reef Rd end goals would be closer. Thanks for your support.